Motivation, humor, and honesty from a man actively dodging a midlife crisis so you can too.
I don't want your holiday card.
I want to hear from you on a regular Tuesday.
Lately I’ve been getting texts asking for my mailing address.
Holiday cards.
Makes sense. It’s that time of year.
A lot of those texts came from people I haven't heard from since January.
When my family lost our home in the fires.
They checked in then. Said all the right things. Offered help.
And then… silence.
Until now.
Holiday card season.
Before I sound like I'm salty and calling anyone out, I'm not.
I’m guilty of the same thing.
I've sent the "Just checking in" text during someone's hard moment, then disappeared back into my own life.
I've sent the "Happy Thanksgiving" message to people I haven't talked to in months or years.
I’ve asked for someone’s address when what I really should've done is called them on a regular Tuesday and said, “What up? You good?”
And here’s what matters:
Some people did show up.
Not just during the fire, but in the months after.
The random texts. The calls.
The “Thinking about you.”
And if you were one of those people: Thank you.
It meant more than you know.
Those people reminded me what real friendship looks like.
It's not the crisis check-in.
It’s not the holiday card.
It’s the in-between moments.
The random Tuesday.
The “This made me think of you.”
The stupid meme that lands at the right time.
The “How are you really doing?”
That's connection.
The rest is just obligation wrapped in tradition.
Something else I’m accepting is some friendships were long chapters.
Some were short ones.
Both mattered.
But not every chapter is supposed to last forever.
Some connections fade because the season is over.
Resuscitating them back to life doesn’t help anyone.
Which means maybe it’s okay not to respond to every holiday message.
Not out of anger.
Not to make a point.
Just out of honesty.
Here’s what I’m asking myself:
Who haven't I reached out to on a regular Tuesday?
Who's only hearing from me when it's convenient or expected?
Who do I actually want to stay connected to?
Not out of obligation, but desire.
Here’s what I’m doing about it:
I’m texting someone today.
Not because it’s a holiday.
Not because something’s wrong.
Just because.
Antonio
PS: Felt this? Buy me a coffee.
PPS: If this landed (or didn’t), hit reply. I’m curious who came to mind.
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