Motivation, humor, and honesty from a man actively dodging a midlife crisis so you can too.
What came out of her mouth would have gotten her fired.
Canceled.
Probably both.
She was a Fortune 100 executive.
Mother. Wife. Conservative. Buttoned up. Early fifties.
The kind of person who measures every word before it leaves her mouth.
We were on Zoom, working on her keynote.
I asked the question I always ask:
“What do you really want to say?”
She paused.
Then I added,
“If you were completely unfiltered. A little unhinged. Maybe a drink or two in. What would you actually say to this audience?”
That’s when she said it.
In a million years, I wouldn’t have guessed she was capable of saying what she said.
We started laughing so hard we had to pause the session.
For the first time, she had something real to work with.
For years, she’d been swallowing that thought.
Performing the polished version of herself.
Editing before she ever started.
Once she said it out loud, something shifted.
The tension released.
She could breathe.
Then we pulled it back about 30 or 40 percent.
She still said what she wanted to say.
Just in a way that wouldn’t end her career.
That’s the work.
Start extreme.
Get it out of your system.
Say the thing you’d never say publicly.
Then refine it.
Most people do the opposite.
They start safe.
They edit from fear.
And they end up sounding like everyone else.
The polished version isn’t the first version.
It’s the last one.
But you can’t get there without going through the unfiltered draft first.
This doesn’t just apply to keynotes.
It applies to the conversation you’ve been avoiding with your wife.
The story of your career you want to tell better.
The thing you want to say to your friend but keep burying.
The frustration you carry at work that never makes it past your teeth.
Even the social posts you write, delete, and soften and then wonder why no one reacts.
You don’t have to say the extreme version out loud.
But you do need to say it somewhere.
Out loud.
To yourself.
Or to someone you trust.
Get it out of your system first.
Then decide what actually needs to be said.
Most people aren’t silent because they have nothing to say.
They’re silent because they’re too polished to let the truth out.
The unfiltered version is where the truth lives.
You just have to find it before you refine it.
Antonio
P.S. I’m hosting a free training on Wednesday, February 11 on finding your voice and saying what actually matters. Sign up here.
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