Redefine Your Role as a Boss with These Key Strategies
The Art of Influence - How to Lead Without Threats or Shame
Rise & Shine.
This is Man Morning - the newsletter for the successful, growth minded man who wants to start his day with a greater sense of purpose.
Today in 3 minutes or less, you’ll get:
🧨 Tough conversations
😯 Dangerous negotiations
🎧️ Never split the difference
🧨 TOUGH CONVERSATIONS
If you lead people and regularly find yourself reminding them that you’re their boss, odds are:
The proper tone and expectations were not set when you began the role.
Your communication style is passive, and your directives sound like you’re asking for a favor.
You spend too much time negotiating non-negotiables.
This same dynamic can also happen with parenting, vendors you hire (i.e., contractors), and with key relationships in your life.
Most bosses tend to write an employee up for insubordination and report them to HR.
With parenting, back in the day (and sadly this still happens today) some parents would threaten or inflict physical harm on their defenseless child if they didn’t comply with the rules.
In some schools where students don’t follow the classroom rules, teachers publicly shame their students.
Using threats or shame to change someone’s behavior may get you short-term results, but it ultimately fails both parties involved.
One way to influence someone’s behavior is for you to show up differently.
10 times out of 10 this requires having a tough conversation that has been avoided for far too long.
The good news is that most tough conversations last less than 15 minutes.
During this “State of the Union” type conversation, clearly share what is and is not working and what the stakes are.
Paint a picture of a future where things are firing on all cylinders.
Lay out clear expectations for the role or relationship moving forward.
From an energetic perspective, shift from a passive style to a direct one.
This means your requests are clear and unambiguous.
Note: Direct and confrontational are not the same thing.
Lastly, don’t negotiate what’s non-negotiable.
There’s a reason a country like the United States rarely if ever negotiates with terrorists (however, hostage negotiators do as you’ll see below).
Why? Because it tends to encourage the exact behavior you don’t want.
Just ask any parent who allowed their kid to stay up past their bedtime how often they have drawn out conversations that begin with, “You let me stay up late last night! Why can’t I tonight!?”
While you won’t always get the outcome you want, taking these steps can reduce the need to remind someone you’re their boss.
😯 DANGEROUS NEGOTIATIONS
“The most dangerous negotiation is the one you don't know you're in.”
🎧️ NEVER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE
This conversation with the former head of the FBI’s Hostage Negotiation Team is something special.
Chris Voss is the author of the international best-selling book, Never Split the Difference.
Voss shares strategies and tactics learned from decades of negotiating with some of the world’s most dangerous criminals.
You’ll walk away with lessons that can help you during tough conversations in business and life.
That’s it for today.
Man Morning Team (MMT)
Start your own Man Morning
Forward this email to 3 men who who will benefit from it.
How was today's Man Morning?